Dear Luca - A Letter to You About Your Birth
My dear Luca,
The day you were born was one of the most exciting of our lives.
Throughout my entire pregnancy with you, I felt like you were going to come early. By 32 weeks, I felt much like I did at 40 weeks pregnant with Brody and Isla.
But you kept cozy.
Your due date (Dec. 15th) came and went in the blink of an eye. Before we knew it, it was Christmas week.
On December 23rd I went to the doctor for one last peek at you before we decided what we would need to do. It was 1 in the afternoon. They did a little physical on you via ultrasound—you looked great. With the craziness of the holidays, The doctor decided all was ok waiting to see if you would decide to come on your own for the next 4 or 5 days. All things were starting to look like my body was preparing for your arrival—I was 3cm dilated and you had started to descend. Dr. White did a membrane sweep and off I went.
On my way home, I decided to walk the aisles of Michael’s and pick up some art projects to keep Brody and Isla entertained for the next few days. Uncle Nick and Aunt Emily were in town and had been spoiling them at the mall during my appointment. I took advantage and squeezed in a little me time. I had some cramping that afternoon, but nothing too consistent.
Dad and I put Brody and Isla to bed around 6:30pm. We headed downstairs and I could feel the cramping getting a little more regular—still not super painful. We laid on the couch together and watched a few episodes of our favorite travel shows—watching travel vloggers seemed to be a theme throughout your pregnancy. I hope that means you’ll love adventures as much as we do.
By 8 o’clock I decided it might be a good idea to get some rest in case things escalated. I headed upstairs, took a nap for an hour or so and sent the doula a text that I’d been having some regular contractions but nothing too painful yet.
I laid down and tried to snooze again, but couldn’t catch a wink of sleep. I started realizing this was the real deal and the excitement kept me from sleeping. By 11ish I told dad I think we needed to let Gigi and pop pop know and have them head this way. I was stressing a bit about who would watch Brody and Isla, so knowing they were on their way calmed me.
By 2 or 3 am the contractions were coming in full force. Sometimes only 2 minutes in between and I was feeling most of the pain in my back. I kept rotating from leaning over the bathroom sink and swaying to sitting under the hot water in the bath.
We called the doula and she was here within 10 minutes. She squeezed my hips, used heating pads and tried just about everything under the sun to alleviate some of the back labor. I think you were posterior and had your sweet hand near your face making things a little painful.
With the contractions coming so fast, we decided we should head to the hospital and labor there. When we arrived I was only 5cm dilated. We headed to a birth room and the doula used a sheet to continuously try to sift my belly during contractions and help you shift out of the posterior position. Eventually the contractions spaced back out to 4 mins apart, but the back labor continued.
Around 7am I looked at your dad and said “I think I actually want an epidural”. The back labor was pretty brutal, but more than anything I suddenly had this urge to savor the last moments of this pregnancy.
What a blessing it was. Within the next half hour I was in bed, calm, peaceful and full of so much joy and excitement. I was taking it all in—those last baby kicks in my belly, the sweet sound of your steady heartbeat on the monitor.
Your dad and I laid there for the next few hours as we watched the sunrise and shine through the windows after what seemed like days of gloomy, rainy weather. We kept chatting about how it still didn’t seem real that you were going to be here soon. We dozed in and out of little cat naps after a long night.
At some point the doctor came in and said we were almost 9cm. There wasn’t much in the way of you coming earth side except my bag of water. He was ready to break my water so things would get moving, but I asked him to wait a bit. I was still savoring those last moments with you inside of me and we wanted to make sure the doula was back in our room.
Around 12:30pm they came in to check me again. This time I was 9.5 cm. The nurse broke my water and we used a peanut ball between my legs as I laid on my left side to get that final little lip out of the way for you.
Our doctor was a busy man that morning. We were one of 6 of his laboring moms and 4 of us were ready to birth at about the same time. He popped into our room after finishing a csection and said he was running to change his scrubs then had a mom who was really uncomfortable and ready to push then he would be back for us.
In the meantime, I started having some pressure that I knew could only mean one thing—you were ready and you were coming. The doula left to go find a nurse, they grabbed our doctor from the other birth and at 12:56pm after a few minutes of pushing there you were in my arms.
It was the most peaceful birth I’ve ever experienced. I couldn’t stop smiling the entire time I was pushing. Your sweet dad was in such awe of you that he kept holding my foot up long after you were already out.
My little Luca, your name means bringer of light, and on Christmas Eve morning as the sun shined through the window on us you graced us with the best gift we could ever imagine. You are the light of my world.
Photos by Jen Conway
